Completed `10 Dec. 19
A BAKER'S DOZEN
The term `Bakers Dozen' originated when bakers would give a person an extra one if they bought twelve.
A FEW MORE (BAKER'S DOZENS OF HUMOUR) FROM BEAR'S READERS
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
|---|
THIS BAKER'S DOZEN
Courtesy of: Michele S.
ARE YOU TOUGH ENOUGH TO SURVIVE YOUR STUPIDITY?
Courtesy of: Elmer H. - Enderby, B. C. Canada
A YOUNG LADY ON A BICYCLE
Picture courtesy of acidcow.com
END
Courtesy of: Phillip M. Vancouver, B. C. Canada
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father, and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune, upon his sickly father's death, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share
his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in a short time my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.
Three days later, she married his father.
Courtesy of: Bonnie M.
JUST IN TIME FOR THANKSGIVING
PUMPKIN PIES ARE MADE FROM PUMPKINS, NATURALLY
Courtesy of: Ling Ling K. - Malaysia
NEWS HEADLINES FROM VARIOUS PAPERS.
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Courtesy of: Kim J.
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what;
Metal,
Wood,
Stone,
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted, and t he prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed.
:-[
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince's pants?
M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking??
Courtesy of: T. Butts
This will take some time, so grab a coffee.
Click on Philosophy For Old Age to download the PPS file
Click on the picture and then wait, click on the words and wait.
Each wait is well worth the time.
Courtesy of: Barry W.
Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips
Courtesy of: Redsky - Vancouver, B. C. Canada
END
Courtesy of: Redsky - Vancouver, B. C. Canada
Courtesy of: Steve F.
Courtesy of: Mark R. Vancouver B. C. Canada
FOR SOME TIME NOW `METH LABS’ (METHAMPHETAMINE LABORATORIES) HAVE BEEN SET UP IN RESIDENTIAL HOUSING UNITS (PRIVATE HOMES).
THE POLICE HAVE BEEN BOMBARDED WITH REPORTS OF METH LABS AND HAVE CONSEQUENTLY RAIDED INNOCENT HOMES.
TO CURTAIL THESE ERRONEOUS ACTIONS THE POLICE HAVE ISSUED AN IDENTITY KIT SO THAT WELL MEANING CITIZENS CAN CORRECTLY IDENTIFY A METH LAB, FROM OTHER TYPES OF LABS.
Courtesy of: Barry W.
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, Class 1 Class 2 Class 3 Class 4 Class 5 Class 6 Class 7 Class 8 Class 9 Class 10 Class 11
Class 12
MORE HUMOUR FROM BEAR'S READERS
LINKS TO OTHER WEB SITES
The COMEDY ZONE The Hun's Joke Page Send me a comment (and I will add it to my Guest Book), or correction, or just say, "Hi"!
Thank you for visiting Lee's `Joke' Page.
Please come back and visit again!
THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.
NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.
SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..
THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.
THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU? --
HOW TO GET IN, & OUT, OF THE DOGHOUSE
Picture courtesy of Data Doggie
AAAAH SHIT!
Picture courtesy of American Buddha
Autumn Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTRE
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By Sat., Nov 6th, 2010
CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Up in Winter, Down in Summer
How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.
Which Takes More Energy
Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Is it possible to drive past a Zellers without stopping?
Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Curling Irons-
Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning At 7:00 PM
How to Ask Questions During Commercials
and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Can a Bath Be Taken
Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Health Watch
They Make Medicine for PMS
USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes
Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes
Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windscreen.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued
to the survivors.
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